Baby

Ok, so this baby is kicking my butt. Not really i guess, it's more like my own body is revolting against me. Ahh, pregnancy is a natural thing, our bodies are built for it, right? Why do I feel like I had an organ transplant and it's rejecting it? Nothing about being pregnant is pleasant. I can't sleep. I need to eat all the time but never want to. My pants are all not fitting. Sometimes I just break down because this sickness fog is so hard to handle all the time. I feel the baby squirm when I'm so sick, and it kills me. I hope he/she is stronger than me. I hear Max playing in the other room and I can't even play with him a lot of the time cause I'm so dang sick. "sorry mommy, sorry mommy", "K mommy?" he'll say. And I still have six months...

But then I think of the baby, what a miracle, and how blessed I am. I have a great husband who saves me everyday and good family & friends to help and support me. Of course I wouldn't give it up. It's just hard. But I've done it before. I can do it. This is my refiner's fire. We love what we have to sacrifice the most to get. Remember that. Done.